Good Advice

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Sunday | 9.57 p.m. in Eugene. I'm not sleepy yet. Cause, everyday I went to bed at 12 o'clock💢. Sorry, I do not have a good quality time for sleep tho. Some people might sleep early and wake up early in the morning to study. It is a good way I think. You are more fresh in the morning rather than study in the late night. But, it depends on you.

I'm listening to a song, Million Years Ago by Adele. Suddenly, fallin' in love with this song even though it was last year song. Put the blanket on my body, grab the laptop and start to write a new entry for my blog. *I'm so happy* I do not have enough time to keep updating my blog. So sad tho. But, this night I put away my homework because tomorrow I have an extra holiday (Martin Luther King holiday). Yehet! I have a lot of stories to tell, write and share. 

*sorry if I need to mix English with Malay. Rasa kekok la menulis dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Ini dah macam formal pula Beeha. 😅 *

Currently, I just start my new quarter (Winter). Phewww! A lot of homework PHYSICS + CHEMISTRY + CALCULUS + ENGINEERING = 19 credits. Masya Allah. Quite tough this time, bro! 

Baru je start seminggu kelas, rasanya dah berserabut otak ni. 😭 Luckily, I have two bestfriends from high school. Ainaa and Fatin Nurain. Friends in high school and now are totally different. It is difficult to find friends that truly understand your problems and have the best solutions, suggestions for your problems. I do admit, I also cannot be the best friend and a good listener to my friends in this new place. I dunno why, I cannot be a real Beeha like in the high school. Why I'm so introvert lately and paling nampak sekali tak cukup pendirian diri. Kadang rasa macam terlalu baik sampai orang ambil kesempatan atasku. Ke aku sahaja je yang bermain dengan perasaan sendiri?



Inilah dua insan yang selalu sangat dan banyak bagi kata-kata nasihat dari MRSM. Baru-baru ni I called them. Told them I was so stress. Dengan kurang faham dengan instructor yang mengajar, dengan perasaan yang dipendam lagi. So, I did call them. Sebelum ni, diaorang pernah cakap nak telefon Beeha, but I pulak yang busy semua. Jadi, sementara baru start kelas dan diaorang pun baru habis final bolehlah 'on the phone' lama-lama. Rindu sangat zaman sekolah menengah. Stres sikit terus cerita dengan diaorang. Inilah kawan yang aku paling selesa untuk cerita dan sangat pandai jaga rahsia.

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I told my problems to them. Such a best day when you could release your problem to the one that you can reliable. The main point I wanna tell you all, one of them asked me.. "Did you do your sunat prayer, hajat prayer after Maghrib and wake up early in the morning to do Taubat prayer? And the most important did you do Dhuha prayer?" and I replied the text message, "It's been a long time I did that. I'm quite lazy tho to do that.😞" Deep in my heart, I was very ashamed with my friend, but at the same time I was happy because there still a friend who remind you to Allah. Thank you! Maybe you didn't feel the peace because you forgot to do that things. Yes, you pray 5 times a day, but you still cannot miss to read Al-Quran and do sunat prayer. Both of these bring your sustenance. I paused a few minutes. Then, I replied to her, " Yeah, maybe this thing make me feel miserable and like I pent-up my anger in my hand." Em, I just realized about this. And thanks to her, so happy to have that kind of friend. This February, she will go to Makkah to fulfill umrah. Alhamdulillah, do pray for me too. I really wanna go there like you.

Dan yang lagi seorang pula memang tempat untuk aku mengadu benda benda yang aku terasa. Even benda kecil. Kawan rapat kan, mesti dia akan back-up aku. Hahaha. Tapi aku still fikir secara rational, kita tak boleh tengok kesalahan orang lain sahaja. Tuding jari tu ke arah kita juga, jangan asyik tengok kesalahan orang lain sahaja. Pernah terdetik, rasa unfair kalau aku sahaja fikir atau asyik nak mengalah walaupun benda itu bukan salah aku. Ini ego! Tak menang pun Beeha kalau kau nak pertahankan ego kau. Kan? Aku mampu bercerita kepada kawan baik dua ni ja atau my sister. Yang lain tu, aku rela pendam walaupun aku tak suka. Aku masih berdiam diri. 

Beeha yang jenis kalau marah, Beeha akan senyap dan malas nak layan orang. Ni kes yang jenis layan marah sendiri sampai tak pedulikan orang sekeliling. 💓 Bukan apa, kalau marah nanti cakap pun rasa nak nangis. Kalau Beeha tak suka tu, Beeha terus je senyap. Kalau kau nak terasa, terasa laa. 

Okay, time to sleep. No conclusion paragraph for this entry. Heheh. Continue later . . . 

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